In our society, it is assumed that everyone wants children. However, that is not always the case. Some people have a strong desire to be parents, while others do not. For those who do not want children, there are many reasons why. Maybe they don’t feel like they would be good parents, or maybe they simply don’t want the responsibility. Whatever the reason, it is perfectly okay to not want children.
I don’t want children but I’m afraid of possible future regrets
Surely you know someone who does not want or has never wanted to have children. Previously, this option was practically not considered within the framework of individual freedom. Those who didn’t just couldn’t. Today we are talking about a choice.
For several years, the choice to have children has been a matter of much thought. Partly because of possible regrets and partly because of responsibility. Many people tend towards no but are afraid of the possibility of resenting it in the future. Finding themselves at an age where it will no longer be possible.
However, this insecurity stems from certain issues that are not raised throughout the process. What makes a person not want to have children? Is it a natural rejection of motherhood or external factors that do not favor it? Do social backgrounds have an influence when it comes to fearing future regrets?
In this space, we will dwell on this subject. The fear of a regret versus a vital desire is a relevant question for anyone looking into the future. So don’t miss this article.
What causes a person to not want children?
Years ago, the socio-economic and family configuration of the Western world. Established having children as a natural part of the cycle of life. However, more recent generations have questioned this, pointing out some of the advantages. Enjoyed by those who have chosen not to have children. Moreover, as happens when freedom expands in any area, doubts also arise.
Many testimonies express a fear of giving birth to a child in a destroyed world. Of transmitting hereditary diseases or of not being able to meet the needs of the little one in the future.
In most cases, if only for the fact of going against the grain. We consider the decision not to have children. In addition to the ideas presented, in fact, some of these reasons may sound familiar to you:
The state of your finances does not allow it.
You worry about not being a good parent.
The rhythm of life you lead to survive is not compatible with parenthood.
You are under social pressure to have children.
The socio-economic future of the country where you live is uncertain or, directly, a bad omen.
You have political ideas about it, such as the opinion that the human species should not expand any further.
So why fear future regrets?
Anyone weighing the reasons given in the previous section would see, logically speaking. That someone would not want to have children without feeling remorse. However, this concern is real and arises from several seeds. Here are a few :
Two opposing and coexisting myths at the same time is the fallacy that women have an innate tendency to want to be mothers and that they have complete freedom of choice when deciding this matter.
From this stems the attitude of pressure from the social circle of some people who say they do not want children. Faced with a firm decision that is maintained over time. The first comment that we usually receive is “what if later you regretted it and that you had missed it?
The idealization of motherhood:
The system and therefore society are geared towards population growth. To do this, the enormous responsibility of having a child. Must be presented as “the best thing that can happen to you in life”. It sows doubt, making people believe they might be missing out on something amazing forever.
I’m sure I don’t want kids, but I’m afraid of regrets
If you are here because you are in this situation. You may want to get rid of this fear because you recognize it as foreign in your head. To do this, we recommend an exercise of introspection and reflection around the following points.
The decision to have or not to have children is yours
The aspirations you draw on your horizon and the means you decide to use to achieve them belong to you. Your fear of future regrets may be fueled by social pressure to have children.
Fear is not born only from you
The fear of not having children and regretting it later arises not only from the uncertainty of the future itself, but from many other factors. Therefore, if you want the purest possible answer, ask yourself what you want and not others.
There are also people who regret having children
Although expressing it (and almost thinking about it) is a deeply rooted social taboo. There are also people who decide on motherhood and later regret it because it is a path of no turning back. So rather than asking yourself if you would regret not having children, ask yourself if you would regret having any.
Enhance your self-knowledge
If you are sure of your preference in this matter, it is for a reason. If you don’t want to take care of someone, if you think they’re going to be born. Into a world that’s going to treat them badly, or if you just don’t want to form a normative family, that’s perfectly fine. You don’t have to change your mind in the future.
What if the regrets came anyway?
Of course, deciding not to have children and feeling regret years later is part of the odds. This is where emotional responsibility to oneself comes in. In fact, it is not about ensuring something in the future because it cannot be controlled.
This responsibility consists of making decisions based on our own criteria and being free, as far as possible, from any outside influence. If you were to regret your decision, you must have already taken this consequence into account from the start.
So don’t hesitate to say something out loud that goes against the general opinion. Because it’s your life and your regrets are yours alone.
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Vogue Health Team