The fire of anger What burns within us

When we feel anger, it’s like a fire burning inside of us. The fire of anger can be destructive and harmful, but it can also be used to create something positive in our lives. We just need to learn how to control it.

The hidden dangers of the fire of anger: How it can consume us and hurt others

We have all experienced situations that have made us so angry. That we have felt the anger rising within us without being able to remedy it. Who has never noticed that a simple spark could ignite a fire that would spread throughout our being? What’s worse is that this uncontrollable rage made us say and do things that we later deeply regretted.

The fact is, we not only feel bad for ourselves, but also for those around us. It appears that, very often, we hurt the beings we love. This happens even when they have no connection to the cause of our anger. In fact, many take our anger head on as they try to calm it down.

“Anger is like fire: it can only be extinguished at the first spark. After that, it’s too late. »

-Giovanni Papini-

What is anger and what impact does it have on those who feel it?

What is anger? It is an emotion that produces unpleasant feelings in the person who feels it. The body shifts from a state of tranquility to a state of great activation to respond by defending or attacking.

We feel it especially in interpersonal situations, that is, when we build bonds with other people. If, during any of these situations, we feel that our pursuit of a goal is unjustifiably and intentionally blocked, anger arises.

At this precise moment, we feel that our interests are threatened and that we must act to defend them. The thing is, anger usually starts at relatively low levels of unhappiness. But if we do not effectively manage this initial irritation, it can continue to increase until it explodes.

Having a high tendency to respond with anger to different conditions has been shown to significantly influence health. First, it generates a set of unpleasant sensations for the person who feels it. But it’s not just that: it is also an indicator of the presence of affective disorders such as depression.

In addition, it is a variable that must be taken into account in the treatment and rehabilitation. Of different neuropsychological disorders, such as those associated with traumatic brain injury or alcoholism. As demonstrated by a study by the Camilo Jose Cela University.

On the other hand, it influences various physical problems. Examples include cardiovascular disorders, cancer, ulcers, smoking, etc.

When I act out of anger, how do those around me perceive it?

Anger not only affects our own physical and mental health, it also affects those around us. Let’s put ourselves in the shoes of our loved ones: how did we feel when someone got angry and projected their anger on us?

The answer may vary depending on a range of circumstances. Whether we are really the “culprits” of this person’s anger or not; the strategies she used to let us know. If she acted in a rather calm way or if, on the contrary:.. She developed extremely aggressive behaviors towards us. These points, among others, will influence the interpretations. That we will make of the situation and, consequently, the emotions that will appear.

Starting from this base, it must be kept in mind. That the more the anger is uncontrollable and the provoked behavior aggressive. The more the other will feel attacked. He will end up getting angry too and will have trouble controlling himself. And we can all imagine the outcome of that, can’t we? Who has never had an argument with someone else for a reason deemed stupid. By both of them but still ended in battle with serious injuries?

This type of situation can generate a considerable number of negative emotions in the other. Starting with sadness, anger, misunderstanding or vulnerability. It can also lead to feelings of rejection from the person who reacted like this with us. In fact, if we act constantly angry with others. It is possible that they will become more and more distant and that we will find ourselves isolated.

“A person who wants revenge keeps his wounds open. »

-Sir Francis Bacon-

Is there a relationship between my way of being and the anger I feel?

Anger, in addition to being an emotion, can be seen as a stable tendency to react with rage during different situations. It can be part of our way of being. This means that there are people whose way of being is more filled with anger than that of others. These individuals respond with higher levels of anger to different circumstances and with greater body activation.

We see similarities with people who have a low predisposition to irritability. In relation to the type of situation that angers them. However, the differences are that they react more intensely and more frequently with anger. In their daily lives when faced with conditions that bother them.

It has been shown that certain personality characteristics have an impact on the process of anger onset:

Hostility.

Hostile people exhibit negative attitudes toward others. Being more likely to display anger and respond with aggressive behaviors, with the intent of hurting others.

Extroversion.

Introverts report that they feel more fire of anger than extroverts.

Neuroticism.

This concept refers to the emotional instability that people can feel. Those people with greater neuroticism experience more feelings of anger. They also have a greater tendency to respond aggressively.

Self-esteem and narcissism

Individuals who have higher self-esteem, combined with a narcissistic personality, are more likely to respond in an angry way. In addition, they are less in control when it comes to expressing this emotion.

As we have seen, constant anger has many negative impacts on our life. It is therefore important to control it. When the first spark appears because once the fire has spread, it will be more difficult to extinguish it.

On the other hand, once it is gone and we lower our level of arousal. A whole range of negative emotions can arise. We then realize the consequences of our conduct as well as the harm. We have been able to inflict on the beings we love.

Consider that if you face anger when you are still a child. If you don’t let it mix with ego or pride, you won’t have to heal big deep wounds.

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Vogue Health Team

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