Love is one of the most amazing, perplexing emotions we experience as human beings. It can inspire us to accomplish great things and fill us with happiness beyond compare. But love can also be painful, particularly when it’s unrequited. Unrequited love is when we love someone who doesn’t love us back – and it can be absolutely gut-wrenching. Why does unrequited love hurt so much?
How to overcome unrequited love: 5 useful tips
When a love is not requited, there are pains and bitter tears. We find ourselves living the experience of an impossible love.
The resulting sense of emptiness can lead to very dark periods, so if you are sure that there is really no hope. It is advisable to find a way to manage emotions and, when possible, forget.
How to overcome unrequited love then? In this article we talk about the topic, briefly exploring what unrequited love means. Then move on to the symptoms and the connection between love and biology.
But if you want to go directly to our advice. Go straight to Unrequited love: how to get out of it. Enjoy the reading!
Unrequited love: meaning
What is unrequited love? If there were any doubts about this, it’s about loving without being reciprocated. Falling in love with a person who is already in love with someone else or who we simply don’t care about.
In some cases it can happen for some reason even within the couple to love without being paid. The sense of emptiness that arises from not being reciprocated in love can lead to consequences. On self-esteem, mood and quality of life in general.
Unrequited love: symptoms
Unrequited love is not a disease, so the word symptoms shouldn’t be taken literally in this case. Some signs of one sided love are as follows.
Constantly wondering what that person is doing and who they are with.
Being in a state of anxiety when you are about to see her.
Always be the first or the only one to look for the other person.
Talking together, it seems it is only one of the two to show interest in the other.
Compliments made to the other seem to fall on deaf ears.
The other often proves unattainable.
After realizing that you are experiencing unrequited love, you risk falling into a sense of loneliness, bad mood, melancholy, lack of motivation and so on. It is therefore essential to understand how to forget an unrequited love!
Unrequited love: what to do?
If you are more than sure that there is no way or time to conquer your loved one. Because they are already with someone or have explicitly declared that they are not interested, the only thing to do is try to forget them.
Certain that love has not become an obsession or something worse, in which case it will be necessary to speak to a specialist. One can think of taking the long road to get rid of that unrequited falling in love.
Sometimes it’s difficult to realize that you should aspire to a real relationship. One that allows you to grow together and enrich your life. Reflecting on this aspect, you will have to find a way to fight against yourself. Because as a lover you don’t really want to forget your loved one, but instead you want them more and more intensely.
It will therefore not be a small effort to decide to forget her. Also because the relationship between love and biology complicates things. Let’s see what it’s about!
Love and biology
To understand how to overcome unrequited love, perhaps it can be useful to investigate. What is at the basis of falling in love and romantic relationships from a biological point of view.
Even if most of the time we don’t think about it, love and biology go hand in hand. According to American anthropologist Helen Fisher, there are three stages of love. The first is that of sexual attraction, not oriented towards a particular person.
The second phase, of romantic love or falling in love, concerns the desire for a specific person. Is characterized by an imbalance in the levels of adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine.
Phenomena such as emotional dependence and a sense of possessiveness towards the loved one. Are typical of this phase, as the level of serotonin in the blood drops. Contact or sight of the other person leads to an increase in the level of serotonin. This results in a sense of well-being.
When love is unrequited, the subject in love has no way of receiving, so to speak. The dose of serotonin he is entitled to, since the other person is not interested in providing it. The person who experiences unrequited love therefore finds himself perpetually waiting for something. That does not arrive and this is the main focus of his suffering for love.
The third phase instead concerns the bond and is functional, from a biological point of view. To the reproduction and growth of children. The relationship with the partner in this phase is characterized by greater tranquility. Is guaranteed by another hormone, called oxytocin.
Unrequited love: how to get out of it
Returning to us, let’s now understand how to deal with unrequited love. Forgetting a person you love after having a stroke of lightning won’t be easy at all, but it won’t be impossible either.
By arming yourself with time and a lot of patience, but above all by working on your self-esteem, you may be able to manage your emotions. Here are our advice, which we hope you will be able to follow if you are experiencing such a heavy phase of life, such as that due to unilateral love.
Accept unrequited love and allow yourself a phase of suffering
Acknowledging that the other person does not want to know about us is essential, in order to go beyond unrequited love. Once you accept this fact, it will be good to allow yourself a phase to experience suffering. Wanting to stop suffering for love doesn’t mean pretending that love doesn’t exist.
All processes have their timing and even love, as a biological process, has its own. It will therefore be good to cry, get angry and if possible let off steam with someone. In this phase it is important to be good and patient with yourself, figuratively take your hand and slowly accompany yourself out of the bubble of suffering, working on yourself and making positive resolutions for when this dark period is over. And always remember that sooner or later it will end!
Distance yourself from the person who doesn’t love you back
With a view to protecting yourself from suffering, which is already present without the need to see your loved one, it is good to distance yourself.
The simplest way, so to speak, is to no longer contact the person in any way, thus trying not to give in to the temptation to write or call them, naturally avoiding social networks, if the person is active there too. In addition, as far as possible, it is necessary to frequent different environments.
Of course, if it’s a work environment, this can prove difficult, but it will still be good to do your best to try not to share the same spaces. An excellent idea, if feasible, is to go on a vacation, in order to distance yourself and change your environment for a while.
If you are entitled to holidays, it could be the right time to take advantage of them!
Stop idealizing your loved one
When you fall in love, you tend to idealize your loved one. Particularly when you know her little and love is not reciprocated, it can happen that you have fantasies that are very far from reality. How to overcome unrequited love if not by putting a stop to this type of dynamics?
One way to do this could be to reflect on the person, trying to do it as objectively as possible, trying to see their flaws and aspects that certainly wouldn’t make a relationship with them work.
Even if you don’t know the person well, some immediately visible characteristics of them, such as a certain way of speaking for example, could help to deconstruct the image of perfection that you have of them.
So start having fun, looking for the flaws of the person who doesn’t love you back, you’re doing it for your own good!
In case of unrequited love, surround yourself with friends and trusted people
Such difficult periods in life are naturally very personal, but that doesn’t mean they should be lived in complete solitude. To overcome unrequited love, the support of close friends and other trusted people, such as a psychotherapist, is essential.
An important friendship can provide support to vent on the subject, but also a company that allows you to distract yourself and have fun, for example with an outing for two or in a group. More ideas and tips on this and other points can be found in our article How to stop suffering for love.
So run to call your best friends to organize something!
Focus on yourself
Even if in an unrequited love, the thought and desire for the loved one are very strong, the important thing is to try to divert attention away from her and focus it on yourself.
Continue to engage in your usual activities, whether it’s a sport, a hobby, or something else. Even finding new interests can help you renew yourself, focusing on yourself to ask yourself if it’s not the case to partially change your life.
In addition to working on yourself, even indulging in pleasant things, such as foods, favorite pastimes or other, provides support and a way to increase the level of serotonin in your body, acting positively on mood.
Of course, work should not be underestimated either, which can prove to be a very important ally in forgetting your loved one, especially if this is not present in the workplace itself.
Spread the love
Please do share this article with someone you care about. It is important to stay engaged and informed. With current events because without your contribution, we may never be able to change the world.
Vogue Health Team